Not Top Chef

So, Thisbe loves food. And Thisbe is fascinated by the process of converting raw materials (i.e. flour and shredded cheese and bacon) into something delicious (i.e. Bacon Monkey Bread). But Thisbe does not particularly enjoy cooking. In fact, Thisbe rarely cooks, on the grounds that her creative home-making skill is knitting, and cooking generally cannot be done from the couch.

Thus, it is a puzzle that Thisbe is COMPLETELY OBSESSED with cooking tools. Every freaking time the William Sonoma catalog arrives, Thisbe wants the egg coddlers. Perhaps our eggs are sad and lonely, as they are without the coddling that all good eggs should have. Is it guilt? Is it some sort of latent Betty Crocker gene? It makes no sense.

Recently this phenomenon has leaked into the Cuisinart line, because they have been advertising a standing mixer which appears to be magical. It makes ice cream! It makes pasta! It grinds meat! It composes sonnets! (OK, I'm not sure about the last one, but it is still magical). And it comes in an array of attractive colors.

Thisbe keeps having grandiose fantasies of purchasing the mixer, and then dancing around the kitchen, ala Donna Reed, whipping up delicious meals for PBB & the wee kraken, and greeting PBB upon his arrival home with a gourmet dinner.

The key is: THIS IS COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. Thisbe (while fully capable) has no interest in actually cooking the meal. So unless the mixer is actually magical, and will cook the dinner itself, it would just be a giant waste of money.

Fortunately, the cost of the mixer is bordering on prohibitive, so Thisbe has not yet caved, but late at night she can hear the siren song......[quiet tiny voice] "Thiiiiiiiissssssbbbeeeee......you could make your own iiiiiiiiccccceeee creeeeeeammmmmm" Shut UP mixer.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 (hereinafter MBP #1).

Today's life observation: Drool is cute only if you are a wee kraken. Or a puppy.

Nothing and Everything

This week has actually been kind of crazy, but not a lot actually happened.

Highlights:

1) I have been given an opportunity to join a community orchestra that will be going to Italy in July. While this sounds fantastic, I cannot leave the kraken, (or PBB, although, he can actually take care of himself, as opposed to the kraken) and frankly her cello skills are not yet at the level necessary to play in the orchestra too. So, if I went, I'd have to take her with me. And I'd need PBB or some other adult to accompany us so that the kraken wouldn't crawl/walk away during a concert. Dilemma.

2) I went to the gym 3 times! That is an increase of 300% over my gym efforts for the last year. No, really.

3) The wee kraken learned how to clap, which is hilarious and adorable, and makes me want to go and wake her up to see her do it.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 -- cool, but interminable.

Today's Life Observation: (Taken from a flip chart leaning against the wall in our rehearsal space) Charlotte + Wilbur = Friends. I could not say it better myself.

24

So. I am in love with Jack Bauer (after of course, PBB, and the wee kraken, and then also, Brad Pitt). (Sorry Kiefer, I am not in any way trying to freak you out, but that Jack! He's fantastic!).

I have been watching the new episodes of 24 when I get back from rehearsal, and I have to say, the theme of this season appears to be ANGRY VIOLENT Jack, as opposed to last season, which was EVERYONE WHO KNOWS JACK DIES.

This does not make me love Jack any less, because now, he is even more of a bad boy (Note: so what's the deal with his family? You have to have a pretty dysfunctional family if Jack Bauer is the "black sheep"), however, coming off of the tragedies of last season (EDGAR! NOOOOOOOO!), but based on Jack's current behavior (running around and almost indiscriminately beating/biting/killing various people) I find myself unwilling to get attached to any new characters. And I am even more attached to the old ones. (Milo! Where have you been?).

I am also somewhat worried about Jack's mental state. I think he is even worse off than the season when he was addicted to heroin.

And to the writers of 24, if you are, by some chance, reading this: leave Chloe alone. PLEASE.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 (this one will take a long time, but it will be worth it).

Today's Life Observation: Broccoli smothered in cheese & butter is unfortunately, not healthy. Really.

Things That Suck

1) Mean Moms
2) Mean ladies at the grocery store.
3) People who say they will call back, but do not.
4) People who say they will call, but do not.
5) People who call you only when they need something.
6) People who know you need help, but don't bother to call.
7) Post-pregnancy weight.
8) Not being able to sleep.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1

Today's Life Observation: Nobody's on Nobody's side.

Coda Mama

This morning we went to a Mom's Club Event. I kind of hate going to these events. I am completely intimidated by all the other Moms. I feel like a mom imposter. Like I am some sort of 16 year old babysitter who stole someone's kid and is masquerading as an actual Mom.

Not to mention, that I generally do not get along well with other women. This is not to say that I don't like other women, or have female friends or anything, but for some reason, I do not get the whole female relationship dynamic (despite having researched this issue, taken classes on it, and actually conducted sessions with teenagers on relational aggression), and I end up saying or doing something stupid.

And then the other women/girls mock me and torment me endlessly. And not in a gentle, fun, kind of way. In the kind of way that makes a 16 year old girl go home after school and cry in her room.

For example, today one of the other Moms asked me if the wee kraken was sleeping through the night, and I, stupid moron that I am, answered "Yes, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months old" (which is true). I then spent the next 10 minutes backpedaling and talking about all the other things she does that are not good, because that Mom was clearly about to disembowel me with a butter knife.

I keep going to these events because I really feel like I need to meet other Moms, but I just have NOTHING to talk about with them. I feel like a giant tool. Argh.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 continues.

Today's Life Observation: Mean Girls just grow up into Mean Moms.

La la la.

So, for those of you who know Thisbe (and read previous posts), you know that I enjoy singing, and I am not actually too bad at it. If I may toot my own horn for a moment here, I have even held principal roles in several musical productions. As such, I decided that I would like to participate in a local Gilbert & Sullivan group that is putting on a show later this year. So now, every Monday and Wednesday, I drive 35 minutes to rehearsal and have a little kraken-free grown-up time.

I am enjoying the rehearsals, but as it turns out, I am the only one in the group who has actually performed this particular show (a more obscure G & S production), and so I often find my mind wandering. I stare at the wooden ceiling of the church where we rehearse, and I wonder how old it is, how many slats it has, and whether the church founders would freak out if they knew people of many non-Christian faiths were hanging out there and singing immoral songs (or at least, songs that would have been immoral at the time). I am also fascinated by the signs that are sort of lying around the rehearsal space (e.g. Spaghetti Dinner! Tonight!), and wonder how long they have been there. They move around, and change, but yet, I have seen no signs of any Spaghetti Dinner.

And perhaps as a result of all of these random musings I also find that I am regressing to the slightly obnoxious soprano that I was in college. Specifically, I am all fidgety and whispering to my neighbor, and I can't quite figure it out. I am no longer fearful of these people (or at least, I am less fearful than when I auditioned) Why am I suddenly becoming 18 again? [Or at least, why can't I just get back my 18 year old body?] It is fortunate that the music director seems as immature as I am, (or finds my fidgety weirdness endearing), because I think otherwise I would be sitting in a corner with a dunce cap.

Sooooooo, shout out to the G & S group! Way to give me an adult activity complete with real conversations!

Today's Project: Still Mystery Baby Project #1!

Today's Life Observation: Low-fat things are also low in taste.

Slacker poster.

Yes. Yes. I know. I haven't posted in well over two weeks. I don't have much of a good excuse except for general holiday malaise. That and the fact that I really didn't have much to report, and I did not think it would be interesting for people to read "Hey, nothing happened today! It was RIVETING".

This past weekend PBB & I dressed up like real adults and went out for a proper grown-up dinner, replete with alcohol and food that was prepared in more than 5 minutes without a microwave. Accompanying us for this outing were Mr. & Mrs. Weef, who are expecting a small (and we found out today) little girl (congratulations!) kraken of their very own.

So, while we went out with the best of intentions, I could not stop PBB from waxing eloquent on the colors of poo, and I went right along with it. And I must say, I am full of shame, because that is not normal adult conversation, and a shout-out apology must go to the Weefs, for subjecting them to what amounted to an all-night diatribe on being new parents. I will be very impressed if they did not have to go home and lie down for the rest of the year from fear and shock. I have promised Mrs. Weef that we will go out for another grown-up dinner and will not have lame baby conversations, although she did not seem that upset (but then, she is very polite and well-mannered, so she may be trying to spare my feelings, or perhaps, fend off another spate of parenting drivel).

We also went to see A Chorus Line, which was very good, with two notable exceptions/problems:

1) The seats in the Schoenfeld theater were apparently designed for gnomes, and therefore, no average sized adult (or even small adult) can sit comfortably in them, which really detracts from one's enjoyment of the show.

2) Seated directly behind us were a group of women that if I were to use dramatic UNDERstatement I would describe as quiet, subtle, and slightly tipsy. The seats did not seem to bother them (to be fair, in their state(s), I think that if the theater exploded it would not have bothered them), and they expressed their *deep* love of the show by punctuating EVERY SINGLE SONG with their own approbation/observations. "I JUST *LOVE* HER! I DO! I LOVE HER!!!!" "SHE'S GREAT!" "YES! SHE IS GREAT! I LOVE HER". I am still not sure if it was funny or just plain annoying.

Today's Project: Continued work on Mystery Baby Project #1. So fun!

Today's Life Observation: Cats really do like balls of string.

Shopping is LOVE.

So, shout out to the Little Blonde for alerting me to an AWESOME sale here today.

I was able to go to an actual physical place for the sale, and got some fantastic things for much less than their original prices (even less than the sale prices on the website).

Indeed, I am wearing the "inside-out jacket (in charcoal)" *right now*! It could not be softer or cozier. Me and Eva Longoria! Shop at the same place! Sort of!

Sorry. I am overwhelmed with shopping giddiness.

Today's project: Got held up on the last sleeve of Pink Sweater Project #2. Will finish it (Oh YES I WILL) tomorrow or die trying.

Today's life observation: Music truly does soothe the savage beast (or wee kraken).

MEMO

To: My Street
From: Thisbe
Re: Holiday Light Decorations

Dear Neighbors,

Happy Holidays! We in the Thisbe household wish you and your families the best this holiday season, and in the upcoming New Year. In the spirit of the season, we would like to send some heartfelt wishes regarding your holiday decorations, as follows:

1) We wish you would follow the tried-and-true adage that "more is less" or the equally compelling "more is not better" or whatever your mother told you regarding "too much" of anything. Because we are going slightly blind from the sheer wattage of your collective holiday cheer.

2) We wish you would stick with all-white lights (which is, of course, a personal preference thing),** but if you must go with colored lights, we wish they were the wee tiny lights, rather than the largish, 60-watt style lights, which are causing Thisbe to almost drive off the road every time she sees them.

3) We wish we did not have to mention giant inflatable holiday decorations. Indeed, we wish they had never been created. But since someone has a very twisted sense of humor, we wish you would not egg them on by purchasing such decorations and putting them on your lawn. You're better than that.

4) Most importantly, we REALLY REALLY REALLY wish you would leave the animated light-up reindeer at the mall/store/gates of Hades. We can't prove it, but we are pretty sure that they are watching us, and it is creeping us OUT.

Love, The Thisbe Family

PS. Please accept our holiday wishes in the spirit in which they were intended, of good cheer, understanding that holiday lights/decorations are a bit of a pet peeve for us, and we are just poking a bit of good fun at them. In no way are we intending to disparage Christmas, or anyone's enjoyment or celebration thereof. We are not interested in receiving posts about how we are mean-spirited Grinches who hate Christmas. We do not, and we are supportive of the celebration of all winter holidays. Happy Festivus! And, Relax.

**Specifically, we wish you would stick with single-strand white lights rather than the very drippy lights, or the nets of lights, both of which are less visually stunning than you might think to the average viewer, but again, to each his own.

Today's Project: Rows away from completion of the pink sweater project. Also working on a black and silver shawl.

Today's Life Observation: Bad morning shower = VERY bad day.

Howdy Neighbors!

[Thisbe notes that she has not posted for some time. Mea culpa. I have no good excuse, except that I didn't have much to say]

So it appears as though we have not one, but two sets of new neighbors.** There have been no sightings of the actual neighbors, but several sightings of their moving trucks and several furtive, drive-by or peering-through-my-window efforts to catch a glimpse of them.

I am not sure about the protocol on the whole "go introduce yourself and be neighborly" thing that I feel that I should do. Am I required to bring a baked good or casserole? (Thisbe is not keen on baking or cooking). Do I need to bring PBB with me? Should I just go with the wee kraken?

I am sure there is some kind of Emily Post procedure, but.......whatever. I think we'll wait until 1) The neighbors are sighted on one of the furtive drive-bys or 2) Saturday, when PBB is home.

**This development is particularly interesting in light of the fact that one set of neighbors is replacing the family which contained our affectionately nicknamed "Loud Guy", a man who was nice, but both a close AND loud talker. Suffice to say, when PBB had a headache so severe that we had to take him to the emergency room (he's fine), who was there? Loud Guy.

Today's Project: Pink sweater project #2 is almost complete! I have only 1 sleeve to go!

Today's life observation: Retail therapy. Goooooooood.

A very Happy Turkey Day to you all...

May your pants be split with the vast amounts of (good) food that you consume.

Thisbe must go cook two corn souffles, but wanted to post a picture of the blue stripey hat.



Enjoy!

Today's Project: The left front of Pink Sweater Project #2 is almost complete! I am hoping to make a great deal of headway on it over the holiday.

Today's Life Observation: You can never have too many Pyrex pans.

Not so friendly skies.

So this really burns me.

For those of you uninterested in clicking on the link, the gist of the story is that a woman on an airplane was sitting in a window seat (with her husband in the seat next to her), nursing her infant, and a flight attendant came by and offered her a blanket "for discretion". The woman turned down the offer of the blanket, and a short while later the flight attendant came back and asked her to get off the plane.

If what this woman claims is true, and she was indeed, kicked off an airplane for breastfeeding, then I am both horrified and furious. If I had been that woman, the exact same thing would have happened to me, as the wee kraken does not like anything on her head when she is nursing, and I would have no real interest in a crappy airline blanket for that purpose. I mean, it is not as if she was running up and down the aisle waving her exposed b**bs about and spraying other passengers (in which case, I would wholeheartedly support removing her from that, or any other flight).

If you don't want to nurse your kid, then fine. If you don't want to see me nursing my kid, then don't look, and frankly, even if you are looking, I am not exactly sure what you are seeing, other than the back of her head. Geez. I'm not much of a "lactivist", but I really get upset when people act like nursing your child in public is akin to stripping and table dancing.

Today's project: Working on the front of Pink Sweater Project #2. Picture to follow when the sweater gets a little farther.

Today's life observation: Mushrooms growing on your front lawn were a neat fairyland item as a child, but are really, just fungus, as an adult.

Home again, home again....

So. This past weekend, we went to the ancestral home of Thisbe, to visit the wee kraken's doting Grammy & Big Pop.

Long car ride, to get to the ancestral home. On the plus side, the long car ride always features amusing small town idiosyncrasies (a storage facility with (what appears to be) a giant paper mache beaver out front -- store your things here! Or I will gnaw down a tree in front of you!).

Also, I was quite pleased because I am a HUGE fan of my hometown college basketball team, and this past weekend they played my actual college team at the hometown arena. I LOVE going to games there (Childhood memories! Daddy buys me sports stuff! I get to yell at strangers without repercussions!). Also, Big Pop purchased the wee kraken's first sports outfit for our team (and a matching hat for Thisbe). I am extremely excited to suit her up to watch the games with me. Since PBB (Thisbe's husband, and father of the wee kraken) hates sports, I am thrilled to have created my own companion for watching the games.

Also, I am consistently fascinated with how many people we know when we go out anywhere in the ancestral hometown. When we were first married, PBB & I would go there, and we could not go anywhere without Big Pop knowing someone, and that trend has continued. PBB was completely amazed every time it happened, and vowed that he too would have this sort of local notoriety in years to come. And although I used to take it for granted (since I lived it for 18 years), I am starting to be equally amazed, and also amazed that this trend has extended to the rest of the family. For example, wee kraken & I went out with Grammy for all of 2 hours and ran into 2 people she/I know. At dinner, we saw another family friend, at the game we saw another guy Big Pop knows. I run into someone I know here perhaps once a month, although usually under hilarious circumstances.* And it is not as though we live in a particularly big town.

Today's project: I expected to make major headway on Pink Sweater Project #2 this weekend, what with all of the car time, but forgot to factor in my love of sleeping in the car. So, I got almost nothing done.

Today's life observation: You can go home again. Really. And if you are lucky, your parents will treat you to dinner.

*My favorite example of this is when PBB had such a severe headache that we had to take him to the emergency room, and who should we see there? Our neighbor, who we lovingly refer to as "Loud Guy", because 1) He is loud, and 2) he is a "close talker". You can just imagine how happy PBB was to have that kind of extra support in his time of need.

IIIIIIIIIIII.........am the very model

Of a modern major chorister.

Yet again, I have committed to performing in a Gilbert & Sullivan show. Why, oh why, do I keep doing this? I mean, I like G & S. Who doesn't? Crazy sexist plotlines? Cross-dressing? A guaranteed happy ending? GOOD TIMES FOR ALL, I SAY!

However, I find that the other members of the cast, (as usual) to put it delicately, are, shall we say, not so much acting to get into the "crazy" part of their characters.

To be fair, this group seems to have a lower crazy quotient than most, but still. It makes me all jumpy and twitchy just to be at a rehearsal. I actually get fidgety. Like a second-grader on a Halloween candy high. Ugh.

In other news, my wee kraken is now sporting two, count 'em, TWO teensy (but kind of sharp) teeth. They made her rather angry and rageful the last couple of days, but now that they are out I think she will return to her regularly scheduled pleasant little self.

Today's project: Work continues on Pink Sweater Project #2. I really like this project. The sweater is adorable and requires a moss-stitch knit for a good portion of it, which is just kind of fun.

Today's life observation: A hummer stretch limo? Can get a flat tire. Big does not equal invincible.

VOTE! Thisbe is begging you!

OK. So, I am not normally all that political. But for the love of amber waves of GRAIN, I am begging everyone to go out there and vote. I would also like to encourage you all to vote for the Democratic candidate(s) in your area**, but I understand if you would like to continue with the path of our current administration. [indistinct coughing *pointless war* indistinct coughing *failure to protect civil liberties* indistinct coughing *completely unethical*]. Ahem.

Today's project: Working on a new Pink Sweater project for the same small person. I like this one *much* better. I am about halfway through the front.

Today's life observation: "Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos" (from The Simpsons).

**Unless, as in my area, the democratic candidate is a guy that my friends and I routinely refer to as "Crazy-Eyed [Candidate]", since he seems relatively normal, except that it appears as though at any moment in one of his commercials he is going to whip out an axe and scream "Vote for me! Or I will chop you good!" I will (unfortunately) be voting for the Independent candidate instead. Suffice to say that the words "between a rock and a hard place" have rarely been more apropos.

Long time. No post. Much knitting.

OK. So, sorry about the lack of posting. Not that many people are reading this. But, still, my deepest apologies. The wee one and I have been making many social calls, and attending to various family obligations.

Not to gloss over the last several months, but rather, it makes more sense to just look forward. And specifically, to look forward to one of my favorite days: Halloween.

I have had the Halloween costume for my first child planned for approximately 7 years. I realize that this may seem, shall we say, excessive to most people, but in the words of a great man "I have a dream". And I am quite proud to say, I have made that dream come true. This will probably be one of the few pictures I will post of my wee one, but I could not resist.

STRAWBERRY!!!!!



I have only recently unveiled this exciting costume, and I must say, it has received a great deal of critical acclaim.

Indeed, we were at a birthday party today, and my wee strawberry was quite a hit. Particularly with the birthday girl, who we adore. [Shout out to G! Creator of the infamous and useful phrase "No, no. No no no [with finger wagging]"]. And, in all fairness, the birthday girl was herself pretty awesome in a Yoda costume. She is two. And all-wise in the ways of the Jedi.

Today's project: A curly scarf to take a break from baby knitting (So many babies on the way! Only one Thisbe!). Technically it is crocheted, but whatever.

Today's life observation: A two-year old will really eat anything. Anything. Including a star-shaped candle. Happy Birthday G!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

The Surface of the SUN.....

....would be a pleasant respite to the heat wave that our area is currently experiencing.

Additionally, we are especially lucky to have significant power outages. Thankfully, our personal home did not lose power, however, a large chunk of US-1 is powerless, making driving anywhere an exciting adventure. Who needs traffic lights anyway, I say.

Also, this weather is totally frustrating for me on an entirely different level, as I am currently responsible for a very small person, who is new to this universe, and who cannot reasonably be taken out in 100+ degree weather. So despite the appearance of sunny loveliness, I am trapped in the house, singing children's songs to a small, bored, person. And frankly? I am running out of songs. Soon she will have to make do with various Broadway show tunes. Memories....all A-loooooone in the Mooooonlight.......!

Today's project: The Pink Sweater Project persists, but has taken a rather alarming turn. I think I am running out of yarn. I am not sure what to do. I may have to cannabalize a hat I knitted out of the same yarn as a sample. But that would be a HUGE inconvenience.

Today's life observation: I have no observation. As I observed nothing. As I was in the house all day. And for the record: you do NOT want me to comment on the limited number of things I did observe.

The Goat.

So, along US-1, not far from my house, lives a goat. This is rather odd considering that although I live in the suburbs I do not live in a place where people generally keep goats, and this particular goat resides on what is a very busy stretch of road. It is not a place you would expect to see a goat.

I discovered The Goat on the way to the grocery store about a year ago. I was sitting at a traffic light and glanced out of the window at what I initially thought was a man walking a dog. Until I realized that the dog had a beard and was chewing on something. Then the light turned and I had to drive away, but I immediately called my husband to report what I had seen. He confirmed that indeed, The Goat existed, as he (my husband) had also seen The Goat and had even asked our veterinarian about it, and she said that The Goat exists (and apparently receives regular check-ups).

After discussion with other colleagues who live in my town, I found out that goat-spotting is something of an underground game, and it is now with great enthusiasm that I await a trip past The Goat's house to see if he is around.

I have not seen The Goat outside in quite some time, but his owner has thoughtfully placed a table by the front window of his house, and several times I have seen The Goat silhouetted in the window. The Goat seems to really enjoy looking out the window. Every time I see him it makes me happy. For no reason.

Today's project: The Pink Sweater Project beat goes on. I have finished the right side and begun work on the left. I am concerned that the recipient of this sweater will not appreciate how difficult it was to create, considering how simple it looks.

Today's life observation: Simple things really can make you happy. We went to Stew Leonard's over the weekend and I got several very exciting food items, and I was so happy I was practically doing a dance in the checkout line. I love you Stew's! I especially love your grapefruit juice and animatronic dancing fruits and vegetables. ["I am Chiquita Banana and I'm here to say...."]

Picture People.

Today I went with my sister-in-law, two nieces, and wee daughter to attempt to have a picture taken of the three of them together. I say attempt, because it is not possible to get three children under the age of four, one of whom cannot sit up on her own, to all sit/stand still, look at the camera, and smile. We were only marginally successful, in the sense that we got a picture of all three of them in one frame.

Today's project: The Pink Sweater Project continues. I have completed the back, and I am almost done with the right sleeve and front. For future reference? Garter stitch sweaters may look simple, but may not be.

Today's life observation: If you are caught in a thunderstorm so severe that a shopping cart is moved across the parking lot by the sheer force of the stormy activity, it is best to remain where you are. Even if you are trapped in the mall. Go get some Starbucks or something.

....and while my tiny wee kraken slumbers...

I begin this blog.

I have long resisted writing any sort of blog, fearing the prying eyes of internet stalkers and identity thieves and whatnot, but, as I find myself with quite a bit of time on my hands, and because I needed to sign up for blogspot to post a comment on another blog, here I am.

I am hoping to use this blog mainly to discuss fun projects that I am knitting, and various life epiphanies/observations that I have while doing so.

Today's Project: A pink sweater I am knitting for a friend's brand new baby girl. [Pink Sweater Project]. The pattern is Debbie Bliss, the yarn is Debbie Bliss cotton dk. So far, the sweater is not difficult, but is irritating because it requires the knitter to strictly count each row. I think I am about halfway through it.

Today's life observation: the more bags you carry, the more likely it is that you will leave one at the grocery store. And the more likely it is that the bag you will leave will be your purse. [Shout out to whoever returned my purse to the Stop n' Shop people without stealing anything from it!].