11.12.2007

Fitness Death Star

Recently, Thisbe's gym has been the subject of a great deal of rumor and innuendo.

According to the Senior Citizen Posse (SCP) that hangs out at the gym when Thisbe works out, the gym is about to be taken over by Planet Fitness.

This is a situation of grave concern at the gym.

The SCP is upset because Planet Fitness is known for having only machines and no classes.

Without classes the SCP has no reason to come to the gym, hang out for 3 hours drinking coffee, smoking (really) and gossiping, and claiming that it was "exercise".

Thisbe is upset for an entirely different reason, as part of Planet Fitness's streamlined, evil-empire regime is that: there is no babysitting.

Without babysitting, Thisbe essentially cannot go to the gym during the day, thus eliminating all hope of Thisbe going to the gym.* This also eliminates any hope of Thisbe actually getting healthy or losing weight.

Thisbe is pondering whether to enlist the SCP in a rebellion to defend the gym and destroy the neighboring Planet Fitness (down the street), thus protecting our way of life and Pilates on Thursdays. I envision a scene where the current gym owners are boxed in with walkers and the Planet Fitness people run screaming from their machines at the sight of the many elderly people brandishing their yoga mats and spouting nonsensical stories about lines at the DMV.

*Not to mention creating some serious unhappiness for the WK, who has come to adore the gym babysitter and the many exciting gym toys.

Today's Project: Completion of many sets of wristies. Full explanation forthcoming.

Today's Life Observation: Politicians? Really NOT smarter than the rest of us.

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