Just don't make my daemon a spider

You'll see what I mean...

Today's Project: Finishing, what else, wristies!

Today's Life Observation: Wine? Good! 3 glasses of wine? 3 times as good!


The bloodiest sport...

Thisbe has found a new sport*: Competitive Knitting.

Oh. Yeah.

It is ON. ON I SAY!

There is a competitive knitting event coming up in March, and I assure you. Thisbe is IN.

[Sharpening of knitting needles, flexing of fingers, playing of "Rocky" theme]

*Shout out to The Little Blond for alerting Thisbe to this.

Today's Project: Big shock. More da*n wristies.

Today's Life Observation: Nobody's on nobody's side.


I'm UP!

Earlier this evening, Thisbe drank a Diet Coke.

It is now 2:15 am. Thisbe is WIDE AWAKE. Because Thisbe forgot the cardinal rule of drinks: no caffeine.

In a desperate attempt to get tired, Thisbe went to the alumni site for her high school.

Several interesting things to note:

1) Exactly ONE of Thisbe's high school friends is registered on the alumni site. Someone Thisbe no longer talks to. All remaining friends (like Thisbe) appear to totally disdain the site.

2) Many of the people in Thisbe's graduating class have children now (not surprising).

3) Many of the people in Thisbe's graduating class who have children felt the need to post pictures of those children on their profiles. Let's just say, it was a better choice for some people than for others.

4) At least one person who Thisbe went to high school with posed for Playboy, but may well have changed her mind about whether that was a good idea as she now has an uber-Christian blog.

5) Quite a few of the registered alumni are unmarried.

6) The unmarried alumni do not appear to be part of the unbelievably geeky crowd (aka Thisbe & her friends), rather, many of them were part of the "popular" crowd. Could they have [gasp] peaked in high school? Heh.

7) Sadly, (really) at least three classmates (of the 48 registered) have gotten divorced. [Thisbe knows this because of the way their profiles have changed over the last several years].

8) Thisbe has spoken to exactly ONE person on the list of 48 people from her graduating class in the last 7 years. And only because she ran into this person during a visit to the Ancestral Home.

Thisbe is not sure what any of this means, but is sure of one thing: No more diet coke.

Today's Project: Wristies, wristies, wristies

Today's Life Observation: Writer's strike? Bad for Thisbe's TV. WRITERS! PLEASE FIX!


Fitness Death Star

Recently, Thisbe's gym has been the subject of a great deal of rumor and innuendo.

According to the Senior Citizen Posse (SCP) that hangs out at the gym when Thisbe works out, the gym is about to be taken over by Planet Fitness.

This is a situation of grave concern at the gym.

The SCP is upset because Planet Fitness is known for having only machines and no classes.

Without classes the SCP has no reason to come to the gym, hang out for 3 hours drinking coffee, smoking (really) and gossiping, and claiming that it was "exercise".

Thisbe is upset for an entirely different reason, as part of Planet Fitness's streamlined, evil-empire regime is that: there is no babysitting.

Without babysitting, Thisbe essentially cannot go to the gym during the day, thus eliminating all hope of Thisbe going to the gym.* This also eliminates any hope of Thisbe actually getting healthy or losing weight.

Thisbe is pondering whether to enlist the SCP in a rebellion to defend the gym and destroy the neighboring Planet Fitness (down the street), thus protecting our way of life and Pilates on Thursdays. I envision a scene where the current gym owners are boxed in with walkers and the Planet Fitness people run screaming from their machines at the sight of the many elderly people brandishing their yoga mats and spouting nonsensical stories about lines at the DMV.

*Not to mention creating some serious unhappiness for the WK, who has come to adore the gym babysitter and the many exciting gym toys.

Today's Project: Completion of many sets of wristies. Full explanation forthcoming.

Today's Life Observation: Politicians? Really NOT smarter than the rest of us.


Candy Corn!

They were out of candy corn at our grocery store.

So I made some myself.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!


Vive la Pants!

In a stunning victory for Thisbe, this past weekend [drumroll please] THISBE WAS ABLE TO WEAR SKINNY JEANS!

That's right, people. Skinny. Jeans. Seven Jeans. We're not saying that they fit as well as they did the day we bought them. But still: SKINNY JEANS.

And, while wearing them, someone actually mistook Thisbe for a high school student. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Buoyed by this success, Thisbe tried on a pair of size [blank] pants. Note that Thisbe has been unable to get into size [blank] pants for some time. It is the goal pant size, and so far, Thisbe has only been able to fit into size [blank + 2]. Indeed, for a long time Thisbe was wearing size [blank + 4].

But yesterday! SIZE [BLANK]!!!!!!!!


Today's Project: Completion of the WK's Halloween Costume. Pictures to be posted shortly.

Today's Life Observation: Outlet Mall does not always equal cheap.


Are you laughing with me?

PBB & Thisbe are two *very* different people. People who love each other. But different people.

Nowhere is this more apparent then when they are watching television.

PBB laughs out loud constantly. Indeed, he has woken up the WK with his laughter. Thisbe rarely, if ever, laughs out loud. This does not mean that she does not find something to be funny, but she just doesn't laugh out loud at TV, or when reading a book or magazine, or watching a movie.

There are exceptions to this phenomenon.

One of them is the incredibly stupid, but hilarious movie Just Friends. I have no idea why it is so funny. Maybe no one but Thisbe and PBB think it is funny. But every time Thisbe sees it, she laughs hysterically, out loud. [Anna Faris, I have not given you the credit you deserve: I like girls! DARLA!].

The other exception is a book that Thisbe read a couple of weeks ago. Thisbe will be revealing the name of this book in an upcoming post, however (not to hype it too much): THIS BOOK IS THE FUNNIEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ.

This book was so awesome that Thisbe is in the process of purchasing it for all of her RL friends, as several of them have upcoming birthdays (ahem, Weef, ahem 5280Mommy) or birthday presents owed to them (ahem, Little Blond), and I have to say, it will be one of my greatest presents ever.

As soon as the books are purchased and distributed, I will write a longer post about it, but I just had to point out: I laughed out loud *through the entire book*. This has never happened before. And I have some funny books.

Today's Project: Keep watching this space, we are now days away from an announcement.
Today's Life Observation: No matter what the dentist says? Getting a cavity filled is not fun.


Bear with me...

...for a moment, while I write a post that is all sorts of doting about the WK.

This weekend, the WK learned how to sing.

As a major singer, you can only imagine Thisbe's glee when from behind the couch I heard her teeny wee voice singing (over and over) "Op-em shu dem" (Open, shut them).

Seriously. Cutest thing ever. Sorry, I know I am being a big dorky Mommy. But there it is.

Also, today she learned how to sing the "E-i-e-i-o" part of Old McDonald.

I will be teaching her "With Cat-like Tread" tomorrow. I am sure her daddy will be thrilled.*

AND, on today's walk, we saw a dog, who was quite friendly and was letting the WK pet him, and was licking her enthusiastically in return.**

We see dogs a lot, and we have petted dogs before. As previously mentioned, the WK is *very* fond of dogs, but for some reason, today, she was practically apoplectic with excitement. We have never heard her laugh so hard. It was fantastic.

*In a sick ironic life twist (for him), PBB does not like Gilbert & Sullivan.

**Spare me the emails about letting a dog lick the WK. It was a very well-kept, clean dog, and it was licking her toes.

Today's Project: Watch this space for an exciting announcement regarding a special knitting venture

Today's Life Observation: Sk8er Boi is back. But if he keeps on getting up to skate at 7:30am? Then he's not back for long.


A weekend of things....

Beginning my 100 things, to be exact.

Thisbe's 100 things now reside here.

Come and visit. The list countdown has begun! Due to the lame list capacity of eblogger, I will temporarily just be identifying items as completed, hopefully strikethrough capacity will arrive soon.

Anyway. This weekend, the Thisbe family went on the road, to visit the Weef family, meet Miss Sophie, and head on down to the City of Brotherly Love.

An excellent weekend was had by all (particularly the WK, who scored a new Cookie Monster toy, courtesy of the Weefs, and got a ton of attention, and got out of bed VERY early, so she could poke her Mommy and Daddy in the eyes while they were still trying to sleep a little).

So check it out!

Today's Project: MBP #2 is done, and has been gifted. MBP #1 is soooo close.

Today's Life Observation: Children do not like to eat vegetables. At all.


S*x and the Psychiatric Ward

Seen the new commercial for Sarah Jessica Parker's latest fragrance, Covet? No? You're lucky. The psychotic look in her eyes at the end of it will haunt me for years to come. (Also, why would someone break into a museum to get perfume wearing a couture ball gown?) SJP! We love you! Get the help you so desperately need!

Today's Project: Nearing simultaneous completion of MBP #1 & #2

Today's Life Observation: Any day someone helps you clean the house is a good day.


Hellllllllloooooooo Kitty!

Yesterday, in celebration of PBB's upcoming birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY PBB!), we went out to dinner with the WK & his parents. We sat outside (we were the only ones at the restaurant who did) and after dinner PBB took the WK for a little walk near the restaurant.

About 5 minutes later he brought her back, crying hysterically. We all wanted to know what happened.

According to PBB, they had walked by a small creek a few hundred feet away and suddenly the WK became *very* excited and starting squealing and pointing to something in the creek. PBB initially thought it was a cat. But it was not. It was a raccoon. WK was waving furiously at it and saying "Peas! Peas!" (Please, please) desperate to go over and pet it.

PBB hightailed it out of there, much to her chagrin.

Today's Project: MBP #2 (#1 is completely done! Just sewing it together!)

Today's Life Observation: August is WAY too hot.


100 Things to do

OK. After hearing that yet another person Thisbe knows is mortally ill, Thisbe has decided it is time to start doing the things she has always wanted to do. So Thisbe has created a list (see sidebar), which will shortly consist of 100 things.

Beginning soon, Thisbe is going to attempt to do at least one of these things each week. It might take a week or a month or a year to complete them, but Thisbe will chronicle the effort. Also, Thisbe will accept suggestions to add to the list, but no promises as to whether they will make it on there. In addition, as soon as an item has been completed, a new item will be added to the list. So there will always be 100 things.

Life is short. Thisbe needs to dance on a bar.

Today's Project: Finishing a few things.

Today's Life Observation: There is nothing more fun than watching the WK in her pool.



OK. I just finished reading Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. I admit it. I cried at the end. It was just such an overwhelming feeling to know that I was saying goodbye to all of the characters (regardless of whether they "survived").

I am sure that hardcore fans will have all sorts of nitpicky comments, and I have already seen several people criticizing the "epilogue", but overall, I thought it was a great book, and I will miss Harry and his friends.

Also, for those of you who finished reading the book, who I know IRL, there were two things that bugged me that I felt were unresolved. Email me. We'll talk.


In which I meet Darth Vader.

Yesterday was Thisbe's birthday. Thisbe is [number deleted] years old!

Happy Birthday to Thisbe!

Thisbe received many wonderful presents from her family (some of whom have asked not to be identified on this blog, but Thisbe must single out her sister, who got her an autographed copy of a book Thisbe LOVES) and some *fantastic* Chanel beauty products from Mrs. Weef [PINK!!!! SPARKLY!!!!! Woooooooooo!!!!].

Thisbe also got to go out to dinner with PBB, the Wee Kraken*, and her parents to one of her favorite restaurants, and then to the local playhouse (not a community theater, but a well known venue that is sponsored and run by several famous actors) to see a play.

And indeed, who was at the play as well? James Earl Jones! And Thisbe met him and shook his hand. [Note: Thisbe was something of a dork here, and kicks herself, but blames excessive champagne consumption at dinner for this].

It was neat.

*Who took a break from her present position of "if I asked for something, and I don't get it, I'll scream so that you can hear me better." Thank you, wee kraken.

Today's Project: Watch this space for an exciting knitting announcement!

Today's Life Observation: Napping is the best part of a lazy Sunday afternoon.


Me luuuuuuuurves the drinky.

Sangria is good. Chocolate is good. Wine is good.

All good. All at my house. YAY firm event! Yay babysitter!

Yay delicious tapas food that firm paid for! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!


Today's Project: Drinking sangria. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm......sangria.

Today's Life observation: Mmmmmmmmmmmm......sangria.

Phase 14 mos: Take it out, put it away

I am currently sitting with a lapful of (clean) diapers which the wee kraken systematically removed from the storage space in the changing area, one by one, and toddled over to hand me. She was not content unless I held each one in *exactly the same way*, and once she had taken all of them out I thought she would stop.

Instead she is repeating this exercise with the pieces from her Melissa & Doug insect puzzle. So in addition to a lapful of diapers I also have a wooden bee, butterfly, ladybug, and fly.

And now a pink stuffed elephant.

I am not sure why I need to hold all of these things, but what makes it awesome is the babbling narrative that goes with each item.

WK: deeeddddddllleee. ladadaldadada. Dah. [Hands up item]
Thisbe: Um. Ok. I'll hold it.
WK: [Enormous smile] Nash! Heh. Da-hum. [toddles off to get another item].
Thisbe: I'll just hold this then.
WK: Deeeeeeeeeedle!!!!

Today's Project: Pointy border for project that is taking FOREVER.

Today's Life Observation: Conversations do not have to be in a recognizable language to be interesting.


Fat Women Can't Swim

Thisbe made the enormous mistake of looking for a bathing suit today.

It was, undoubtedly, one of the most hideous experiences Thisbe has had to date, and remember, Thisbe was in labor for 18 hours.

The upshot: (which is not news) if you are not a pre-teen semi-anorexic girl, you cannot find a flattering bathing suit, and g*d help you if you are bigger than a size 6 and under the age of 65. In that case you have the choice of looking like an idiot in pre-teen swimwear, or appearing to be wearing your grandmother's bathing suit. Thisbe needs a big drink.

Today's Project: Staying cool. It is approximately 1 billion degrees outside.

Today's LIfe Observation: The bathing suit industry actually hates women.


Happy Thoughts, People.

OK. It is very important that everyone reading this thinks happy thoughts today.

Thisbe's brother-in-law is having very serious surgery, and we need lots and lots of good wishes flowing his way.

We'll keep you posted.

Today's Project: Just getting through the day.

Today's Life Observation: Tell the people you love that you love them. Please.


Pet peeves

1. To the customers at Stop n' Shop. DO NOT PARK in the "Customer with Infant" parking if you are not a customer with an infant. There is a reason for that parking. A shrieking, writhing, angry little reason, that really cannot take the extra walk from the car or waiting to get a cart which must be brought to the car. I've been there, and I too have been tempted, but please. If you don't have the kid, don't take the space

2. To the other parents at my gym. A 7 year old does not want to hang out in babysitting with giant Legos while you work out on the elliptical machine for 2 hours. And that 7 year old will behave badly, causing the poor babysitting lady to go crazy, which is no good for anyone. If school is over, and camp hasn't started yet, perhaps you need to get your exercise by taking your child for a nature walk. Or chasing him/her around the house/mall. Whatever. Just stop messing with my babysitters at the gym.

3. To the parents of the kids on my street. Letting your kids scream as loudly as they can, all in a group, so loudly that the neighbor lady thinks that one of them has been run down by an errant teenager, is not OK. Please teach your children that screaming? Is not a game.

4. To my garbage man. Taking our garbage does not require being loud. Some mornings (this morning) you are not loud, and I appreciate that. Some mornings (last week) you feel the need to make every single item in the garbage hit the truck individually, and also to comment loudly upon it. On those mornings, you kill the precious few moments I have to sleep before the wee kraken awakens, and usually you wake her up too. I beg you. If it is before 7am, please keep it down.

Today's project: Completion of several things! Pictures coming soon.

Today's Life Observation: Fridays were made for drinking.

PS. It appears that Thisbe's flirtation with the film industry is over, as she did not receive a call to be in Indiana Jones 4. Rats.


And yet, Harrison was nowhere to be seen....

That's right folks. Thisbe and the Wee Kraken went to an open casting call to be an extra in: Indiana Jones 4.

This is the closest that Thisbe has gotten to a movie set since Twelve Monkeys shot on UPenn's campus.*

While we both anticipated a long wait (news articles regarding this event from the previous day indicated that some people had been in line for upwards of 3 hours), we set out early and arrived at 11 am.

It was sort of anti-climatic. There was really no line.** The whole process took about 40 minutes. Weirdly, they wanted to know if Thisbe had cheerleading experience (no) and her glove size (????).

Unfortunately, the Wee Kraken was ineligible to apply to be an extra, as she is under 18. However, the casting director agreed that she was super-cute, and took her picture too.

We'll know (theoretically) in a couple of weeks, but even if this is not Thisbe's springboard to fame, it was still kind of a fun thing to do.

*Sadly, Brad Pitt was not there. Just a bunch of elephants. Cute, but not Brad Pitt cute.

**There was actually a short-ish line of people, and naughty Thisbe spent the majority of the short wait trying to decide if she was cuter than various other people in line. Answer: Thisbe was cuter than about 1/2 of those people, but not so much cuter than several college co-eds who were clearly going with the "play to my looks" (aka dress a little slutty) strategy. Thisbe was comforted by the fact that extras do not all have to be college co-eds, and the Wee Kraken was way cuter than all of us.

Today's Project: Mishmash of things to finish

Today's Life Observation: Never, ever, leave the house without a full tupperware of Cheerios.


Hire me, da*nit!!!!!!

So. It is time for Thisbe to return to the rat race.

Today Thisbe had a job interview. PBB has a more positive outlook on the report, but Thisbe (who was there) does not think it went particularly well.

Specifically, Thisbe just did not seem to have the right answers, or any answers to the incredibly pointed questions that were posed. There were a lot of hypothetical "SO, Ms. Thisbe. If you experienced Situation A (a situation with which Thisbe has limited experience), how would you proceed", and then Thisbe giving an answer, and then the interviewers pointing out something that Thisbe now thinks she should have known which would have been the key to the correct (?) answer.

All in all, Thisbe feels like a moron.

And really, if there are any people seeking someone for employment, Thisbe is an excellent, hard-working employee who is very passionate about the non-profit work that she loves.

So give Thisbe a chance.

Today's Project: Vest. etc.

Today's Life Observation: You never realize how stupid you are until someone else points it out.




Thisbe just loves some pirates.** And Thisbe saw the 8pm showing of Pirates of The Caribbean 3 last night. For those of you who are planning on seeing it this weekend, Thisbe will not give away any of the movie info except to say: Orlando Bloom? WAY hotter than he was in previous movies. Much more dark and brooding. Yum.

Also, someone gets to be a Pirate King. Thisbe is extremely jealous. Thisbe has *always* wanted to be the Pirate King. This Pirate King did not sing the great G & S song though, so, Thisbe is slightly less jealous. Just slightly.

**But not enough to watch the UNBELIEVABLY STUPID reality show where people pretend to be pirates to win money.

Today's Project: Vest to hopefully wear to a wedding this weekend

Today's Life Observation: Arrrrrrrrr!


Happy Birthday Wee Kraken!!!!

One year ago today, was the best day of my life.*
And here she is.
*Tied, of course, with my wedding day

Today's Project: Completion of party favors for a very special first birthday party

Today's Life Observation: The Thisbe family is so lucky to have such a wonderful girl.


Not that I'm an expert

But a note to the parents across the street:

Thisbe has some concern regarding your offspring. We will call him Young Sk8er Boi. We will call him this because for the last week*, for approximately 23 hours a day, Young Sk8er Boi (who we think is about 10 years old) has been outside in your driveway, apparently fused to his skateboard, and alternately skating over his skateboard ramp**, and dragging it all over the driveway.

This raises concerns for 3 reasons.

First, Thisbe has noted that Young Sk8er Boi has absolutely no protective gear: no helmet, no knee or elbow pads, nada. So if he were to take a tumble, we imagine that his injuries would be unpleasant.

Then again, bringing us to concern #2: we have *never* seen you outside watching Young Sk8er Boi, so we imagine you would not notice.

Finally, the incessant noise of both the skating and the dragging of the skateboard ramp is driving the Thisbe family CRAZY, particularly since it starts (true story) at 7:30 am. Every day. Including weekends. We here at the Thisbe family like to sleep in on the weekends. We are training the wee kraken to do so, and the pre-dawn skateboard warm-up is not helping matters. We are concerned we may have to disable the ramp while Young Sk8er Boi is sleeping (we think he sleeps, we can't be sure).

Soooooooo......how about you lighten up with the skateboarding? No. Seriously. Because otherwise Thisbe will be forced to serenade you with The Mikado at 2am, and we don't think you will like that.

*It was spring break, so he did not have school. But he is out there every waking minute when he is not at school as well.

**We think the ramp may have been a Christmas or birthday present, as it was not around in the last few years we have lived here.

Today's Project: A mishmash.

Today's Life Observation: Lovely weather? Lovely mood.


Thisbe is moving to Canada

See this?

This is the unfortunate turn of events Thisbe predicted upon the election of our "fearless" leader.

And I am extraordinarily sorry to say that it is happening.

Today's Project: Whatever

Today's Life Observation: O Canada! Our home and native land!


And the hits just keep on coming...

So. Yesterday Thisbe notices that the house is a little cold. Indeed, the poor wee kraken had tiny cold hands, so Thisbe immediately goes over to the thermostat to turn up the heat and....wait a minute. The heat is up to 72, but the temperature reads 65, and there is no heat coming out of the vents. Not good. No heat. Fortunately Thisbe's house has 2 gas fireplaces which kept the Thisbe family warm last night, since the service man couldn't come until today.

In other news, Thisbe *finally* gets to sleep after checking the wee kraken to make sure she was not frozen, and is suddenly awoken by a high pitched whining noise (not made by the wee kraken).

PBB, half-asleep, also notes the irritating noise. Thisbe walks all over the house to locate the source of the noise and ultimately determines that the noise is coming from a large green fluffy frog puppet owned by the wee kraken. Normally the puppet croaks as you open and close its mouth to the tunes of "London Bridge", "Old MacDonald" and "Frere Jacques". However, at 1:30 am, it decided to die, and make the horrible noise to herald its ascent to the choir invisible.

To stop the frog, Thisbe had to locate a screwdriver, unscrew the back of the battery pack and take out a battery. At 1:30 am. This toy is lucky to not be in many pieces, as it would have been a lot easier to whack it with a hammer at that point.


Today's Project: You know. You know what I'm working on.

Today's Life Observation: Fireplace. Good.


Loop? What Loop?

I tell you. Thisbe is so out of the loop, she cannot even see the loop.

Thisbe is not even sure there is a loop. Stupid loop.

Reese Witherspoon is dating Jake Gyllenhaal? WHAT? How did I miss this? Seriously. Pre-kraken, I would have not only known about this at least a week ago, I would have known when they started dating, when/if they have been spotted together, and which magazine will be first to have pics.**

Oh, indeed I am lame, my friends. Shame on Thisbe. Letting her popular culture intel go so far astray.


**Don't judge me for being all "superficial" you supposedly pretentious academic types. Thisbe knows that you are secretly reading US Weekly and watching The Soup. THAT'S RIGHT! I SEE YOU OVER THERE!

Today's Project: The end is in sight for MBP #1. Thank GOODNESS.

Today's Life Observation: Rain sucks. Also, isn't it supposed to be spring? Am I out of the loop on that one too????



Thisbe has spent a great deal of time with the Thisbe family in the last two weeks. Thisbe LOVES her family, but they are WAY high energy, and frankly? Thisbe is exhausted.**

Amid a whirlwind of shopping and driving and traveling (oh my!), Thisbe is hoping for a slightly quieter next couple of weeks, hopefully with less drama (see previous post re: various illnesses).

Also, more frequent posts (and phone calls, to those of you Thisbe knows IRL).

**Notably, the wee kraken is also exhausted, so it is not just Thisbe. The wee kraken slept for 2 hours this afternoon!

Today's Project: A final push on the MBP #1. That kid will be in college if I don't get cracking.

Today's Life Observation: The couch is LOVE.


Where to begin?


On the good news front, the Passport Authority (aka the Wizard of Oz), deigned to allow the Thisbe family to take the Wee Kraken to Canada for her very first Passover. As it turns out, the Wee Kraken is quite a lovely traveler, and also, really enjoyed the Passover festivities. She was quite enthusiastic about the hordes of adoring relatives, particularly her boy cousins, who thought she was extremely cool. She looooooooved them. She was also very fond of her plush Passover Seder plate (a gift from Thisbe's aunt and uncle), complete with plush Seder objects (look wee kraken! Plush lettuce! To symbolize herbs! Or, a stylish tiny hat!); and, her Four Questions Finger puppets (A gift from Thisbe's other aunt and uncle. Thisbe's favorite is the reclining chair. Hilarious, I tell you).

On the not-so-good news front, as most of you readers know Thisbe IRL, you know that the last 6 weeks have unfortunately, been unpleasant, which is why there have been so few posts (Thisbe feels quite guilty about being a Debbie Downer to all her loved ones).

To sum up: in the last 6 weeks, three separate family members of Thisbe & PBB's families have been diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses. This is causing major havoc in the Thisbe household, and if you have any spare happy thoughts, we could use them. We here at the Thisbe household also apologize for being generally flaky and not getting back to our loved ones as promptly as we would normally like. We are working on it. Also, Thisbe will try to keep the depressing posts to a minimum.

Today's Project: Finishing up MBP #1 and working on a special birthday gift for the Wee Kraken.

Today's Life Observation: You never know how much you will miss bread until it is Passover....again. (Or, I suppose, if you go on the low-carb diet).


Karma. She is a B*TCH

So, the ticket line continues to frustrate me practically to the point of homicidal rage.

Indeed, I received EIGHT separate email and phone messages regarding one ticket order, and it was a miracle that this ticket holder did not receive tickets for the February 29th performance, located in our Baghdad theater, if you get my drift.

However, all of my negative ticket karma has come back to bite me, as I am now on hold with [scary music] the U.S. Passport office. PBB & I are taking the wee kraken to Canada for her first Passover, and we checked all of the online regulations, and applied well in advance of our trip, but our trip is fast approaching, and (surprise, surprise, surprise).....no wee kraken passport.**

So I am frantically attempting to figure out how the heck we are going to get to Canada, and/or get her a passport, and cursing the stupid government for messing with us about this, since it is a new regulation that went into effect a mere 6 weeks ago, after we applied for her passport. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

**Applying for a passport for an infant is kind of hilarious. You have to fill out the form as if she is a quasi-adult being, and fill out boxes that say things like "Occupation". What do you put for that? Drooling? Playing with a blue plastic ring? Peek-a-boo? Also, when they took the picture, it was hysterical. Her tiny little head and complete confusion. If we ever actually get the passport, it will be pretty funny.

Today's Project: All knitting has been abandoned in favor of the stupid tickets and passport issues.

Today's Life Observation: Just hug the people you love and tell them that you love them.


Welcome to December

Nooooooo....wait a sec.....that's *right*! It is actually March 16!

Apparently, Mother Nature came out of her drug-induced haze or drinking binge, or whatever it was that made it so that we had NO snow in December, and 70 degree weather in January, and realized that she better get cracking if we were going to have a good old fashioned storm before spring is officially here.

So now, we are getting 6 ish inches of snow and ice. Lucky, lucky, us.

And also, lucky, lucky Thisbe, who has been at rehearsal every freaking night until 11 this week, and then had to drive home for 40 minutes, only to have the opening night of our show cancelled.*


On the plus side? In the words of the well-known children's author Barbara Boynton "It's PAJAMA time".

*As you can imagine, in addition to the general bummer that is the cancellation of opening night, being the ticket person when a full audience is calling to ask about their tickets for tonight? FUN.

Today's Project: MBP #1 needs to be finished, but Thisbe just does not have the energy.

Today's Life Observation: Snow is a lot less fun in March.


The hours creep on apace....

There will probably be several late night Thisbe posts this week.

I keep coming back from rehearsal ALL WOUND UP and I can't sleep.

It does not help that recently I am actually having nightmares about the tickets. Last night I dreamt that one of the little ladies followed me to a resort on vacation and accosted me while I was swimming to ask where her tickets were. Thisbe's subconscious? Not terribly subtle.

As I was standing onstage tonight, watching the action from a parapet, I was thinking that I would really like a part where I get a solo. This is probably too enterprising, but still. It might be nice. I get kind of fidgety in the chorus and tend to cause trouble with the other chorus women. Lead roles keep me from distracting other people with my antics.

On a completely unrelated note, PBB confirmed today that all four of our koi perished in a tragic pond motor incident (i.e. the pond motor ceased to function). We are terribly sad, as we had them for almost 3 years, and we were particularly fond of the large bluish silver koi who had a very neat flowy tail. R.I.P. Koi. Your lives were not lost in vain, as we have replaced the motor.

Today's Project: Still finishing MBP #1 -- it will be a couple of weeks, but I am getting there.

Today's Life Observation: I am staying up WAY too late.


So. FREAKING. Tired.

Ah tech week. How I did not miss you.

So, it is tech week for my show. Tonight's rehearsal included a lot of standing around, and then a lot of running across varied level platforms waving around a banner and then an axe.

I *know* I am going to trip and fall, and hurt myself, and there will be Thisbe blood gushing everywhere, and it will be most unfortunate. Tell the wee kraken that I love her!

Notable also with this show are the clutch of little ladies, who, while they are senior citizens, still love to perform. And in that sense, they are inspirational. I hope I am still spry enough in my late 70s to be wearing armor and wielding a battle axe (true story).

On the other hand, the little ladies find the choreography extremely challenging, and, to use a phrase from the Little Blond, getting them to do stuff is like herding ducks. Ducks who think that younger people are not polite enough these days, and don't respect their elders.

Also, the majority of people attending the show are the friends of the little ladies, and they are a handful too. Thisbe is in charge of tickets, and if one more little lady calls the ticket line while Thisbe is at rehearsal, and then calls back 47 more times (getting increasingly indignant each time because her call has not been answered), and leaving crochety messages, Thisbe will be forced to have a nervous breakdown and scatter the tickets all over the parking lot while singing and dancing.

Also? Thisbe does NOT hand deliver tickets, little ladies. NOT. Thisbe is NOT a delivery service of any kind. Geez.

Sigh. Tomorrow we are supposed to wear our costumes. Thisbe can only imagine the sort of chaos this will entail. On the plus side, AXES people! Thisbe gets to wave around an axe! And look menacing! (Well, as menacing as is possible for the relatively small person that is Thisbe).

Today's Project: Finishing up the MBP! The baby has arrived! Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Little Blond & Baby Blond!

Today's Life Observation: People individually can be smart. People as a group? Generally stupid.


To market, to market...

...if ONLY to buy a fat pig.

I wish.

No. I go to market, to apparently be accosted by crazy people.

I admit. When I first realized that I would be at home a lot more (what with the kraken) and would be primarily responsible for grocery shopping duties, I was highly concerned. I am perfectly capable of navigating the grocery store, however, I was not interested in finding out the answer to the question I had posed so many times:

Q: Seriously. Who is shopping in the grocery store at 1:30 on a weekday?

A: Other stay-at-home moms, elderly men and women, and weird looking guys who appear to work the third shift and have the perpetually glazed look of zombies.

Into these larger categories there are subcategories, all having to do with particular mental tics, (e.g. the woman who inspects her car (really) if you just walk past it with a cart; the woman who doesn't check to see if anyone is pulling into the parking space next to her before flinging her door open as widely as she can, the myriad of people who drive aimlessly through the parking lot, as though they were the only car there.)

No matter how careful, or non-threatening I am, these people find me and I end up afraid and disgruntled every freaking time.

It is now clear to me why online grocery shopping is just so darn popular. It is clearly much safer.

[On the plus side, the wee kraken LOVES the grocery store. It is Disneyland to her. Today she was yelling so loudly with glee that I actually had to stop and explain to her that grocery stores are not for yelling. She looked at me as though I was insane. Which, based on the other patrons, was a fair assessment.]

Today's Knitting Project: MBP #1. I will finish it. Oh YES I will.

Today's Life Observation: The older and crappier the car, the more reckless the driver.


I am not a guy.

Note to all of my guy friends:

I am not a guy. Really. Not a guy.

I do not want to hear about you checking out some other chick, or how some girl you work with/met at a bar/saw on the street is really hot, or the time you went to a strip club.

It might seem like that, because for some reason, you think I am a guy. And I agree, I like sports, I can play poker, and I have been known to drink beer, but I am not, actually a guy. And I know you think that it is all cool, because hey, you can talk to me just like I was a guy!

But not. To reiterate: NOT A GUY.

I have to say, there is nothing that makes a woman feel less attractive than a man telling her how hot other women are. It makes me want to go sign myself into a Swiss plastic surgery clinic for the next six months.

Today's project: MBP #1. We're about 2/3 done.

Today's life observation: Being thin and beautiful does not equal fashion sense. I'm talking to YOU Cameron Diaz.


The adventures of Mr. Bee

The Thisbe house was full this weekend tonight. We had some friends and family visiting.

So, in an effort to make our house a bit more presentable, Thisbe broke out the vacuum cleaner the afternoon before our guests arrived.

Thisbe loves the vacuum cleaner (as much as one can reasonably love a vacuum cleaner), because it is a central vacuum system, and is relatively lightweight and easy to maneuver, and makes vacuuming about as painless as it can be (noting that Thisbe hates housework). So Thisbe is vacuuming along merrily, and notices that the wee kraken's Exersaucer, is as usual, festooned with the remnants of approximately 1,000 cheerios. So, Thisbe detaches the tube from the vacuum to suck up the cheerios.

In doing so, however, Thisbe inadvertently sucked up one of the wee kraken's toys (Mr. Bee, the wrist rattle). This turned out to be both unfortunate and hilarious.

The immediate effect of Mr. Bee's abduction was that there was a serious loss of suction to the vacuum tube. Initially, we hoped that Mr. Bee had traveled, Willy-Wonka like, down to the filter in the basement, but PBB checked, and there was no Mr. Bee.

PBB next attempted to rescue Mr. Bee with a wire coat hanger, but again, without success. It was at this point that we started laughing, and continued laughing for the next 1/2 hour while the process continued.

Needless to say, no vacuuming could be completed during this mission, and it was a significant concern that Thisbe had ruined the central vacuum system entirely.

We subsequently determined that Mr. Bee had become lodged somewhere in the tube, but could not quite figure out where, until (crack detectives that we are) we realized that we could pinpoint his location by shaking the tube to find the rattling noise. Once we found him, we also realized that if we twisted the tube a bit, and turned the vacuum on and off (carefully) Mr. Bee would get sucked farther and farther down. So we were eventually able to get him to the other end of the tube, before he entered the tubing in the wall, and extricate him from his dusty vacuum prison with the wire hanger.

We have washed him, and are happy to report that he (and the vacuum) are none the worse for the incident, and the antics that we engaged in to get him out caused so much laughter, that Thisbe thinks she will remember this for the next time we all need a good chuckle.


Best in Show

So, on Tuesday, Thisbe accomplished a dream of several years: to go to the Westminster Dog Show.

Thisbe was accompanied on this exciting outing by (as usual) the wee kraken, and also Mrs. Weef, who took a day off of work (wooooooooo!) to enjoy the festivities.

Thisbe and Mrs. Weef enjoyed the show tremendously, particularly all of the dogs that we got to see and pet in the "benching area" (backstage), and getting to walk on the big green astroturf-y ring area. Thisbe and Mrs. Weef are notorious impulse buyers so, it was good that they do not actually have dogs for purchase at the show, as we were having such a wonderful time with all the dogs that we would both have purchased dogs of our very own. But then Thisbe and Mrs. Weef would be divorced from our respective husbands, who made it *very* clear that they were not interested in being dog owners at the present time.

But our enjoyment PALED in comparison to that of the wee kraken.

She screamed with excitement and pointed (a new trick) every time she saw a dog, for a total of approximately 1,000 times, and her mouth was open pretty much the entire time we were there. It was clearly one of the most exciting days EVER. She slept quite soundly on the way home, and that night as well.

I imagine that when we attend Kindermusik on Friday she will still be talking about it with the other babies.

It was a wonderful day, and we look forward to making it an annual event (although next year we are going to try and go on Monday to see all of the Toy Dogs), and next year we can bring Baby Weef too!

Today's Project: MBP #1. Like you didn't know.

Today's Life Observation: I have a song to sing-o!


An Inconvenient Truth about Snow Days

So. Today is an Official Snow Day. All of the schools in the area are closed. There are teeny ice pellets attacking my windows. It is officially unpleasant.

Normally, I very much enjoy snow days. I tried to get the wee kraken into the spirit of the day this morning by encouraging her to snuggle with me in bed and watch the school closings scroll by* after her morning feed, but she was uninterested, as, currently, every day is a snow day for her, so she did not understand what the fuss was about.

Today, however, the Official Snow Day is causing all sorts of problems.

First and foremost it is Valentine's Day (Happy Valentine's Day to you all! May you have a year full of chocolate and love, as indicated by the hallmarks of this day). PBB & I had plans to ditch the wee kraken with her grandparents for a couple of hours and have a Real Romantic Date at one of my favorite restaurants. Unfortunately, the restaurant is about 40 minutes away, and, to get there we must drive on the ice slicks that the stupid Official Snow Day was called for, so I am not terribly interested in going and risking life and limb for macaroni & cheese with truffles.

Second, the reason we chose this particular restaurant is because it is located within 10 minutes of the grandparents and the rehearsal for Thisbe's show (which is currently scheduled for 7:30 pm). The idea was to have dinner, then PBB would pick up the kraken and head home, and Thisbe would head to rehearsal. Current weather predictions indicate that the weather will be equally hideous tonight, so there is a chance that there will be no rehearsal, and then it would be completely pointless to drive all the way over there to have dinner in an ice storm.

The result of these complications is that Thisbe is not motivated to do anything today, because it is completely unclear what the day will actually bring, and it is impossible to make any sort of decision about it (e.g. even if there is rehearsal, should Thisbe go? If there is no rehearsal, should Thisbe still go to dinner?). Also, it is too disgusting to take the wee kraken anywhere. Thisbe is hoping for some direction on all of these fronts in the near future.

Today's Project: MBP #1. As usual.

Today's Life Observation: Black truffle popcorn? A GOOD idea.

*I LOVE watching school closings on snow days. Love it. I think it is just a little hangover from childhood, but I get a warm fuzzy feeling from seeing that schools are closed. I find myself rooting for my local school district to be closed, and for the schools of any friends' areas to be closed.


When H*ll freezes over...

....I will not be all that surprised, because it is FREEZING. And I feel bad for whining about it, since it is not all that cold compared to previous winters, but MAN ALIVE, I am getting desperate for some spring (and all nostalgic of the heat wave from this past summer).

The cold is making me quite jealous of my wee kraken's wardrobe, which consists largely of fuzzy footed items, that seem quite cozy and comfortable. Indeed, I am starting to consider purchasing a few footed sleepers for myself.

The cold also makes going out anywhere a mad dash from car to destination, since I do not want the wee kraken to be chilled. However, she does not seem to be the least bit cold, and rather, relishes the extremely short trips from car to store, and laughs every time. Maybe she thinks it is funny to make me run? Maybe she is laughing in the face of the weather? Maybe she has superhuman warmth and just doesn't give a da*n?

Whatever the case may be, it makes me laugh, so the cold is not so bad.

Today's Project: MBP#1.

Today's Life Observation: Just going to the gym will not actually get you in shape. You need to work out there. I'm talking to you, people who sit at the little tables near the front desk and drink coffee.


Not Top Chef

So, Thisbe loves food. And Thisbe is fascinated by the process of converting raw materials (i.e. flour and shredded cheese and bacon) into something delicious (i.e. Bacon Monkey Bread). But Thisbe does not particularly enjoy cooking. In fact, Thisbe rarely cooks, on the grounds that her creative home-making skill is knitting, and cooking generally cannot be done from the couch.

Thus, it is a puzzle that Thisbe is COMPLETELY OBSESSED with cooking tools. Every freaking time the William Sonoma catalog arrives, Thisbe wants the egg coddlers. Perhaps our eggs are sad and lonely, as they are without the coddling that all good eggs should have. Is it guilt? Is it some sort of latent Betty Crocker gene? It makes no sense.

Recently this phenomenon has leaked into the Cuisinart line, because they have been advertising a standing mixer which appears to be magical. It makes ice cream! It makes pasta! It grinds meat! It composes sonnets! (OK, I'm not sure about the last one, but it is still magical). And it comes in an array of attractive colors.

Thisbe keeps having grandiose fantasies of purchasing the mixer, and then dancing around the kitchen, ala Donna Reed, whipping up delicious meals for PBB & the wee kraken, and greeting PBB upon his arrival home with a gourmet dinner.

The key is: THIS IS COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC. Thisbe (while fully capable) has no interest in actually cooking the meal. So unless the mixer is actually magical, and will cook the dinner itself, it would just be a giant waste of money.

Fortunately, the cost of the mixer is bordering on prohibitive, so Thisbe has not yet caved, but late at night she can hear the siren song......[quiet tiny voice] "Thiiiiiiiissssssbbbeeeee......you could make your own iiiiiiiiccccceeee creeeeeeammmmmm" Shut UP mixer.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 (hereinafter MBP #1).

Today's life observation: Drool is cute only if you are a wee kraken. Or a puppy.


Nothing and Everything

This week has actually been kind of crazy, but not a lot actually happened.


1) I have been given an opportunity to join a community orchestra that will be going to Italy in July. While this sounds fantastic, I cannot leave the kraken, (or PBB, although, he can actually take care of himself, as opposed to the kraken) and frankly her cello skills are not yet at the level necessary to play in the orchestra too. So, if I went, I'd have to take her with me. And I'd need PBB or some other adult to accompany us so that the kraken wouldn't crawl/walk away during a concert. Dilemma.

2) I went to the gym 3 times! That is an increase of 300% over my gym efforts for the last year. No, really.

3) The wee kraken learned how to clap, which is hilarious and adorable, and makes me want to go and wake her up to see her do it.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 -- cool, but interminable.

Today's Life Observation: (Taken from a flip chart leaning against the wall in our rehearsal space) Charlotte + Wilbur = Friends. I could not say it better myself.



So. I am in love with Jack Bauer (after of course, PBB, and the wee kraken, and then also, Brad Pitt). (Sorry Kiefer, I am not in any way trying to freak you out, but that Jack! He's fantastic!).

I have been watching the new episodes of 24 when I get back from rehearsal, and I have to say, the theme of this season appears to be ANGRY VIOLENT Jack, as opposed to last season, which was EVERYONE WHO KNOWS JACK DIES.

This does not make me love Jack any less, because now, he is even more of a bad boy (Note: so what's the deal with his family? You have to have a pretty dysfunctional family if Jack Bauer is the "black sheep"), however, coming off of the tragedies of last season (EDGAR! NOOOOOOOO!), but based on Jack's current behavior (running around and almost indiscriminately beating/biting/killing various people) I find myself unwilling to get attached to any new characters. And I am even more attached to the old ones. (Milo! Where have you been?).

I am also somewhat worried about Jack's mental state. I think he is even worse off than the season when he was addicted to heroin.

And to the writers of 24, if you are, by some chance, reading this: leave Chloe alone. PLEASE.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 (this one will take a long time, but it will be worth it).

Today's Life Observation: Broccoli smothered in cheese & butter is unfortunately, not healthy. Really.


Things That Suck

1) Mean Moms
2) Mean ladies at the grocery store.
3) People who say they will call back, but do not.
4) People who say they will call, but do not.
5) People who call you only when they need something.
6) People who know you need help, but don't bother to call.
7) Post-pregnancy weight.
8) Not being able to sleep.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1

Today's Life Observation: Nobody's on Nobody's side.


Coda Mama

This morning we went to a Mom's Club Event. I kind of hate going to these events. I am completely intimidated by all the other Moms. I feel like a mom imposter. Like I am some sort of 16 year old babysitter who stole someone's kid and is masquerading as an actual Mom.

Not to mention, that I generally do not get along well with other women. This is not to say that I don't like other women, or have female friends or anything, but for some reason, I do not get the whole female relationship dynamic (despite having researched this issue, taken classes on it, and actually conducted sessions with teenagers on relational aggression), and I end up saying or doing something stupid.

And then the other women/girls mock me and torment me endlessly. And not in a gentle, fun, kind of way. In the kind of way that makes a 16 year old girl go home after school and cry in her room.

For example, today one of the other Moms asked me if the wee kraken was sleeping through the night, and I, stupid moron that I am, answered "Yes, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 months old" (which is true). I then spent the next 10 minutes backpedaling and talking about all the other things she does that are not good, because that Mom was clearly about to disembowel me with a butter knife.

I keep going to these events because I really feel like I need to meet other Moms, but I just have NOTHING to talk about with them. I feel like a giant tool. Argh.

Today's Project: Mystery Baby Project #1 continues.

Today's Life Observation: Mean Girls just grow up into Mean Moms.


La la la.

So, for those of you who know Thisbe (and read previous posts), you know that I enjoy singing, and I am not actually too bad at it. If I may toot my own horn for a moment here, I have even held principal roles in several musical productions. As such, I decided that I would like to participate in a local Gilbert & Sullivan group that is putting on a show later this year. So now, every Monday and Wednesday, I drive 35 minutes to rehearsal and have a little kraken-free grown-up time.

I am enjoying the rehearsals, but as it turns out, I am the only one in the group who has actually performed this particular show (a more obscure G & S production), and so I often find my mind wandering. I stare at the wooden ceiling of the church where we rehearse, and I wonder how old it is, how many slats it has, and whether the church founders would freak out if they knew people of many non-Christian faiths were hanging out there and singing immoral songs (or at least, songs that would have been immoral at the time). I am also fascinated by the signs that are sort of lying around the rehearsal space (e.g. Spaghetti Dinner! Tonight!), and wonder how long they have been there. They move around, and change, but yet, I have seen no signs of any Spaghetti Dinner.

And perhaps as a result of all of these random musings I also find that I am regressing to the slightly obnoxious soprano that I was in college. Specifically, I am all fidgety and whispering to my neighbor, and I can't quite figure it out. I am no longer fearful of these people (or at least, I am less fearful than when I auditioned) Why am I suddenly becoming 18 again? [Or at least, why can't I just get back my 18 year old body?] It is fortunate that the music director seems as immature as I am, (or finds my fidgety weirdness endearing), because I think otherwise I would be sitting in a corner with a dunce cap.

Sooooooo, shout out to the G & S group! Way to give me an adult activity complete with real conversations!

Today's Project: Still Mystery Baby Project #1!

Today's Life Observation: Low-fat things are also low in taste.


Slacker poster.

Yes. Yes. I know. I haven't posted in well over two weeks. I don't have much of a good excuse except for general holiday malaise. That and the fact that I really didn't have much to report, and I did not think it would be interesting for people to read "Hey, nothing happened today! It was RIVETING".

This past weekend PBB & I dressed up like real adults and went out for a proper grown-up dinner, replete with alcohol and food that was prepared in more than 5 minutes without a microwave. Accompanying us for this outing were Mr. & Mrs. Weef, who are expecting a small (and we found out today) little girl (congratulations!) kraken of their very own.

So, while we went out with the best of intentions, I could not stop PBB from waxing eloquent on the colors of poo, and I went right along with it. And I must say, I am full of shame, because that is not normal adult conversation, and a shout-out apology must go to the Weefs, for subjecting them to what amounted to an all-night diatribe on being new parents. I will be very impressed if they did not have to go home and lie down for the rest of the year from fear and shock. I have promised Mrs. Weef that we will go out for another grown-up dinner and will not have lame baby conversations, although she did not seem that upset (but then, she is very polite and well-mannered, so she may be trying to spare my feelings, or perhaps, fend off another spate of parenting drivel).

We also went to see A Chorus Line, which was very good, with two notable exceptions/problems:

1) The seats in the Schoenfeld theater were apparently designed for gnomes, and therefore, no average sized adult (or even small adult) can sit comfortably in them, which really detracts from one's enjoyment of the show.

2) Seated directly behind us were a group of women that if I were to use dramatic UNDERstatement I would describe as quiet, subtle, and slightly tipsy. The seats did not seem to bother them (to be fair, in their state(s), I think that if the theater exploded it would not have bothered them), and they expressed their *deep* love of the show by punctuating EVERY SINGLE SONG with their own approbation/observations. "I JUST *LOVE* HER! I DO! I LOVE HER!!!!" "SHE'S GREAT!" "YES! SHE IS GREAT! I LOVE HER". I am still not sure if it was funny or just plain annoying.

Today's Project: Continued work on Mystery Baby Project #1. So fun!

Today's Life Observation: Cats really do like balls of string.