Love it or Hate it?

1. Whole Foods: LOVE IT. Ah Whole Foods. With your delicious prepared foods section, and your array of soups, and your (now individually packaged) caramel corn. You make me feel warm and fuzzy.

2. The WK's "I can do it myself!!!!!" Phase: HATE IT. So far, the only things the WK can reliably do herself are 1) Whine/Cry/Scream 2) Spill stuff. Unsurprisingly, there is not much call for either of these tasks in our everyday routine (although they are certainly injected into every possible event), so the WK is trying to do lots of things which she cannot do well, or in some cases at all. And she is QUITE FIRM that she MUST DO THEM HERSELF. "I put on pants MYSELF! I put on backpack MYSELF! I open door MYSELF! I go up/down stairs MYSELF!". Have you any idea how long it takes a 2 year old to put on a backpack? No? I'll let you know when she finishes doing it. So far, approximately 2 hours and 17 minutes. You know what Thisbe will be doing HERSELF? Figuring out how early is too early for drinking, that's what.

3. The new TNT show Raising The Bar: LOVE IT. OK. Judge me and scorn me, but a show which stars Zack? From Saved by the Bell? All growed up? Do not even tell me that you aren't the least bit curious. Also, it is so soap-opera-y that it is hilarious.

4. Drivers on the Parkway. HATE THEM. I know there has been much complaining of the bad drivers in this area, but GEEZ. Now that Thisbe is taking the WK to preschool and must drive back and forth on the Parkway every day, we are being subjected to a whole new level of bad driver. White service van? THE SPEED LIMIT IS 55! WHY DID YOU DRIVE 40??????? Guy from NJ? 1) You need a headset for the cellphone which is distracting you 2) if you cannot drive properly and talk on your cell phone then please stop 3) you must choose ONE lane to drive in 4) your sort of idiot behavior is the type of thing that makes me despise your state and wish that car-mounted weaponry were legal.

5. Sarah Palin: HATE HER. Sorry. Will not launch into rabid diatribe, understand that reasonable people can disagree, yet still: HATE HER.

6. Tina Fey PLAYING Sarah Palin: LOVE HER. Particularly fond of part where Amy Poehler/Hilary is trying to talk and Tina/Sarah starts Miss America posing for the cameras. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Whew.

Today's Project: Oh, just take a guess. Hint: starts with "w" and ends with "risties"

Today's Life Observation: Naps - they're not just for toddlers anymore.


Tuesdays with WK

WK: Mommy. I want listen to song.
Thisbe: Ok. What song?
WK: I want the other song, not the other song.
Thisbe: Um. I have no idea what you mean. What is the name of the song?
WK: I can't tell you.
Thisbe: Ok. Can you sing part of the song?
WK; [Getting agitated] I can't TELL you! Can you please play the song?
Thisbe: Let me get this: you want me to play a song, but you can't tell me what it is. So I have to guess.
Thisbe: I am not sure whether to be frustrated, or impressed that you think I can read your mind.
WK: You just play song??????? PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE????????

Later the same day....WK is in bed. Suddenly, much crying and agitation. PBB goes to investigate:

PBB: [entering room] Hey sweetie - what's wrong?
WK: My pants are off!!!!
PBB: [Confirms that pants are off]. Yes. Yes they are. Why are your pants off?
WK: I took them off.
PBB: Why did you do that?
WK: So I can put them on.

You can't make this stuff up, people.

Today's Project: Freaking wristies. Hate.

Today's Life Observation: Candy Corn season has begun! Let the delicious consumption begin.


Another Letter

Dear Karma,

While I realize that I have been slacking in the "de-worming of orphans in Africa" level of goodness, I have to say, I did not realize that I was unwittingly participating in the clubbing of baby seals, because MAN are you overwhelming me with the low-level smackdown over here. Whatever it is that I did, I apologize. To everyone. In the universe. Because clearly I have offended approximately 97% of you. You're right, I'm wrong. I didn't mean it, it was an accident. I had no idea that I was putting out this kind of negative energy. Now please, please, can we move past all of this?

With love and wishes only for world peace,


Today's Project: Well, since karma is in charge, wristies.

Today's Life Observation: Something neutral! That offends no one! You're all lovely!